It's been almost a year and a half since I let go of my large space that was the home base for Quest Yoga. At the time, I'd been running Quest as a traditional studio for 10 years and I had a community of people that I deeply adored. I was happy teaching yoga, leading workshops and offering Thai Yoga Massage but I knew that something was missing. The Divine had placed another vision in my heart and I knew the time had come to answer the call.
I've been a reader and lover of books my whole life. My mother shared the magic of reading with me from a very young age and even though we didn't always have food in our house - we always had books. After my mother died, it was reading books and writing in my journal that truly saved me.
You see, I was a writer long before I became a yoga teacher. When I opened Quest Yoga, it was a blessing on so many levels to be able to share what I loved with others - but running a studio didn't allow me to spend the time I wanted or needed to write my book.
My memoir is about my mother's murder when I was 12 years old. It's about my journey to make some sense of a childhood tragedy and find forgiveness not only for my mother's killer, but for a family shattered by her death. It's a story about grief and love, about holding on and letting go, and ultimately about discovering the gifts that lie at the heart of our deepest, most painful losses.
So back in October of 2012 - I realized that if I dropped dead on the spot - my biggest regret would be that I didn't finish my book. I knew that in order for that to happen, something big had to change. It became clear to me that I had to find a way to work smarter, not harder and also create some time and space for my writing life to receive the attention it deserved.
I knew that by letting go of my Quest Yoga space and changing the way that I offered my classes, I was risking disappointing a lot of people. As someone who hates to disappoint others, this was a wicked hard decision to make. On top of it all, I didn't know if the whole crazy idea to have a smaller space, do more Mentoring and Privates and offer only two big group classes a week would even work. I had no idea if I'd even make enough money to pay my bills.
Despite all this, I knew that I had to take a leap of faith. I trusted that Divine Intelligence was guiding me and that my Spiritual Team wouldn't let me down. So in January of 2013 - I jumped! It was a total act of Grace.
Here we are, 17 months later and I just got the wonderful news that the first 25 pages of my memoir in progress is going to be published in the SABAL literary journal later this year! It's such fantastic timing since tomorrow, May 7, is the anniversary of my mother's death. With Mother's Day just a few days away and her birthday coming up next week, I can't think of a better present to give her. I like to think that my mom would be proud of me.
As a further bonus, I just got a call from a dear friend, telling me that she's been contemplating making some big changes in her own life for a long time. She hadn't taken action yet because she knew that if she were to do this "big thing" to feed her own soul - it would also disappoint a lot of people. She'd been afraid to take action but then shared that it was my leap of faith that inspired her to finally take her own! I'm so proud of her for choosing love over fear, for following her heart and going after her dream.
And this is my hope for all of you too. That you'll slow down, shut off your electronic gadgets, get quiet and have some honest moments of communion with yourself and your Beloved. That you'll listen for your own still voice of Spirit and when you hear it - have the courage to follow through. We never know when the last exhale is coming... So ask yourself - What would you do if fear weren't an issue? What would you create if you chose only Love? If you're ready to find out and want to take your own Leap of Faith - let's set up a Spiritual Mentoring session!
A big fat hug and thank you to each and every one of you for your love and support as I/we navigate this journey together. As Ram Dass so beautifully says - "We're all just walking each other home." Take that leap of faith and keep shining your beautiful light!