I was hanging out with a few friends and we got to talking about our goals and dreams. We each shared what we hoped to create over the next few years. Part of my vision included: finish writing my book and getting it published, teaching more workshops, creating a Yoga & Writing retreat, offering more Yoga Teacher Training modules at various studios and one day presenting at places like Kripalu, Omega and Esalen. And then I jokingly told my friends, I also wanted to put together a 30 Day Online Mentoring Program called: "How to Get the F*ck Out of Your Own Way".
After we finished laughing, I realized it's actually kind of a good idea - so stay tuned. But seriously, here's my point, it occurred to me a while ago that in order to realize my own dreams and bring forth anything helpful or authentic into this world, "I" actually needed to get out of the way, so something much greater than me could come through.
In order for me to create something genuine - whether it was writing a story, putting together a yoga workshop or organizing a retreat, the best thing I could do was keep the "I" to a minimum. I've figured out, after much trial and error, that many of the obstacles I’ve encountered in my life, happened when there was too much I (Ego) thinking going on. Rather than try to figure out what "I" needed to do - I had to start asking God/Spirit what it wanted me to do.
Truth is, even though it's possible that I might have some innate gifts, an occasional decent idea and plenty of good intentions - it's actually Spirit that helps me to create the best stuff and get shit done. It's the mysterious Divine that powers my creativity and births any goodness that I hope to cultivate in this lifetime. This energy, this fierce force of Love is something that moves THROUGH me, like electricity through a light or water through a hose. I'm just the vessel - a vehicle used for delivery - but you can bet your sweet ass that I'm not the Source.
It became clear to me that if I really wanted to help myself and others - so we could discover our purpose and be of use to humanity - then I had to find ways to tap into my Source. I'm a lover of the mystical, but I'm also super practical. So I needed to figure out some down-to-earth ways to not only consistently access this abundant stream of Providence and miracles that was trying to flow my way, but I also needed to remain vulnerable, open and receptive to it.
This would require building both my physical and my spiritual muscles - so I could hold the space of the unknown and learn how to trust the ideas, intuition and inspiration that came through from Spirit - which I happen to call God & "My Team". And then, on top of all that, I had to have the guts, hardiness and courage to apply the guidance that I received to my ordinary daily life.
I was smart enough to know that if I truly wanted to cultivate change within myself and in the world, I had to take the time to sit my ass down, get quiet and establish a daily, conscious connection to Spirit. What was a little harder for me to wrap my head around was that in order for anything to truly happen, I also had to be willing to SURRENDER. In yoga, this practice is called Ishvara Pranidhana.
To the Ego mind, surrendering to God and practicing humility is kind of like getting a death threat. You're basically admitting that your way of doing things isn't working, you don't really have a feckin' clue and that you just might need some help. You're acknowledging that you're pretty sure there's a better way and you currently don't know what it is. To the Ego, this thinking is blasphemy!
It wasn't just enough for me to practice postures, read yoga books, pray, meditate or repeat my mantra - I also had to let go and take my hands off the wheel. I had to take a leap of faith, turn my life over and let Divine Intelligence, which is sure as shit smarter than me, take the lead. I finally grasped that I couldn't just trust Spirit with some areas of my life - I had to turn over the whole kit and kaboodle. My writing, my business, my finances, my hopes and dreams, my creativity, my health, my judgments, my fears, I mean - EVERYTHING - had to placed on the altar, so it could be altered.